Streets, Zen and bodybuilding 1
In 1998, I wrote down some of the experiences of my first ten years of Zen practice. At the time, I imagined the events of a morning sitting during a sesshin and recounted them. If you like, follow me, the narrator, into the meditation room: we enter the zendo together, find our place and sit down on the meditation cushion...
BEFORE THE ZAZEN, 5:50 a.m. to 6:00 a.m.
5:50 a.m.
I enter the meditation room, the zendo, with my left foot first and bow to the altar. In the darkness, I can only dimly make out the silhouettes of those who have entered the zendo before me and are waiting on their cushions. My place is on the other side of the altar and I have to take the long way through the rows, past the altar, to the cushions diagonally to the side of the Zen master's place, the Roshi. From there I have a good view of the whole room; I like the spot, I'm lucky.
5:51 a.m.
It's chilly in the Zendo and my bare feet are freezing. Tomorrow I will put on socks. Now I can feel the wooden floor under the soles of my feet, it squeaks softly as I stop in front of my cushion and bow to my seat. I turn around so that my back is not turned to the altar and bow a second time, just barely, to the people sitting opposite me. From over there, a figure answers me with folded hands.
I step backwards onto the mat and sit down on the cushion.
5:52 a.m.
I take my time crossing my legs. I squat on the cushion with my legs drawn up. I try to stall for time. Four days of sitting motionless, zazen, are already in our bodies and there are still a few days to go. In the middle of this week of meditation, the sesshin, my comfort comes through. I look for niches where I can relax. Now I feel the fatigue, my eyes are heavy, my muscles sore, my bones thick. Nevertheless, I feel refreshed after a good night's sleep and am eager to see what the day will bring. The schedule is clear, every minute is planned and we don't have to think - but that's exactly what it will be about: What do our minds, thoughts and feelings have in store for us today?
The outer framework of the sesshin is the four daily meditation blocks of three times thirty to forty minutes of zazen, interspersed with walking meditation. We also eat our meals sitting down, so we spend around eight hours in the formal meditation posture.
A two-hour work period in the morning, called Samu, and a two-hour silent lunch break structure the same daily routine. Simple, but with many pitfalls for the ego.
5:54 a.m.
My right-hand neighbor has arrived in front of his pillow and bows. I answer him with my bow. He settles down, smoothes his mat, crosses his legs, breathes deeply and stretches his back. I haven't spoken to him for four days! Now it's time for me to assume my zazen position so that I don't hastily get into an awkward posture just because the Roshi might arrive a minute early and I haven't explored the best position yet. Every morning I'm afraid of having a crease under my cheeks that disturbs my blood circulation; or sitting crooked so that a pain can creep in, which I then have to withstand motionless, under the eyes of the Roshi.
5:55 a.m.
I lower my knees to the floor and place my right foot in front of my left. I bend forward over my crossed legs and fluff up the cushion filled with buckwheat husks and stuff it under my bottom. Then I tilt my upper body back and forth until I feel like I'm sitting comfortably. Isn't something pinching? I sway back and forth, gyrate, sort out my clothes and feel as insecure as I do every morning, even though I've sat on a cushion like this many thousands of times. It is an adventure, an expedition into the vastness of my mind, into the tundra of my being and the colors of my being.
5:57 a.m.
The last figures hurry to their seats. Robes flutter and the latecomers hastily take their positions, a final sigh - it becomes very quiet in the Zendo.
5:59 a.m.
From outside we hear footsteps, the billowing of fabric, movement - wood rattling loudly on wood: the signal that the Roshi has crossed the Zendo threshold. I know that there is no turning back now, time stands still...
This article is part 1 of the series „Streets, Zen and bodybuilding“
- Streets, Zen and bodybuilding 1
- Streets, Zen and bodybuilding 2
- Streets, Zen and bodybuilding 3
- Streets, Zen and bodybuilding 4
- Streets, Zen and bodybuilding 5
